I suppose there was, once upon a time, a small chance that 
something like this could've happened to Jon.  Oh, wait ... no, nevermind.
 
   
     
 
   
        
   
        
   
   OK, the new job is not working out.  In fact, it sucks.  I need your help, people.  Help me get a new job.  Whoever gets me a job will receive the ITISOK merchandise of his or her choice.  C'mon.